Faithful Imbiber Pillows

'It's one way to boost the numbers.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Pop-up Bible.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Men's Prayer Group.

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"The buck really stops with him."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Pope Francis

Decisions a Pope makes

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

Choirboy