Cheeky Christmas Fan Gifts

Are you a good little girl or boy If not, REPENT today: 'November and December,,,I'm Santa at Macys,'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Santa's wash day.

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

Toast kidnapper.

'Another artisanal B&B.'

101 uses of a dead cat: toilet brush

This is why I don't eat spiders on a first date.

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

House for Sale.

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

'Mr. Pennrose isn't so bad...when he gives someone a pink slip, he always draws a smiley face on it.'