Cheeky Christmas Fan Pillows

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Santa's wash day.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

Toast kidnapper.

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Another artisanal B&B.'

House for Sale.

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'Mr. Pennrose isn't so bad...when he gives someone a pink slip, he always draws a smiley face on it.'

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

101 uses of a dead cat: toilet brush