Cheeky Christmas Lover Pillows

Santa Smokes Wreath

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

Sticking out tongue

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Politically correct Xmas presents

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Steampunk Santa

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

Happy St Pancakes Day!

The King's New Robes.

"I won't be needing you this year."

Elf on the Top Shelf

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"Your dump or mine..?"

'Big Issue!'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'Can't wait to see those green shoots coming up...'

'It the thought that counts.'

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

'Please donate to the genetic mutation research institute.'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

"Maybe we shouldn't have used bowling balls for ornaments."

A Wii in a manger