Cheeky Christmas Lover Pillows

Santa Smokes Wreath

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

Sticking out tongue

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

Politically correct Xmas presents

"I won't be needing you this year."

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

The King's New Robes.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Happy St Pancakes Day!

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

Steampunk Santa

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

"Maybe we shouldn't have used bowling balls for ornaments."

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

'It the thought that counts.'

'Please donate to the genetic mutation research institute.'

'Can't wait to see those green shoots coming up...'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

A Wii in a manger

'So I charged a few billion gifts last year. I was going to pay it later.'