Quirky Christmas Lover Pillows

Christmas Eva

Santa being caught drink driving.

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

"Maybe we shouldn't have used bowling balls for ornaments."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

High speed cinder block

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Ball Pool Peril

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Beware of Everything

'I'll take ten, please.'

Holiday Gifts 2020