Quirky Xmas Lover Pillows

Devil's Christmas Tree

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"I love you, you big fool."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'We have three minutes left.'

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Diner

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Fly fishing.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

High speed cinder block

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."