Quirky Xmas Lover Gifts

Devil's Christmas Tree

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"I love you, you big fool."

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'We have three minutes left.'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

Diner

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Fly fishing.

High speed cinder block

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."