Quirky Christmas Lover Gifts

Christmas Eva

Santa being caught drink driving.

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

"Maybe we shouldn't have used bowling balls for ornaments."

"I think he's trying to pick you up..."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'We have three minutes left.'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

High speed cinder block

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Ball Pool Peril

Beware of Everything

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."