Cheeky Chortler Pillows

He dropped twenty quid! You helping him look for it? Nah. I'm standing on it.

Slut Magazine inbox and outboxes.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"At least we're consistent ... "

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

Sticking out tongue

Hen Night

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Read my lips!"

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"Oh, baby, hot caramel? You're going to dip me in hot caramel? I'll be right over."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Why not put it in position first then fill it with water?'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Maternity Ward Public Opening

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

Clean Fill Wanted

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

You'll have to rewrite this. I can't read your hen scratching!

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."