Cheeky Card Sender Pillows

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

I can't smile without you...

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Sticking out tongue

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

'It the thought that counts.'

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

"'Fancy a shag', I think this one is from Dwayne!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

Personalized Tax-Return Mailers.

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."

Christmas postie!

'The lads are hoping you'll get time off for good behaviour - say next Tuesday fortnight at the Red Lion....'

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

Clean Fill Wanted