Chatty Techie Pillows

Social media messages

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

The Smartass Phone

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

Snake with headphones.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

Communication

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"I am a control freak."

Don't use your dog's name as a password

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

"Do I put google maps on driving or walking directions?"

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

'I think I've found what's causing a funny sound in your hard drive.'

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

"He had a close brush with fame when Scarlett Johansson's chatbot told him to go away."

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

'A few years ago that wouldn't have even sounded like a sentence.'

"Other than fluent Emoji, what other languages do you speak?"

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'