Techie Laughing Pillows

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

Social media messages

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

Don't use your dog's name as a password

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'