Techie Laugh Seeker Pillows

"Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back at an on-line shopping center."

"If you're worried about I.D. theft, 'Moo' is too obvious a password."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"Projectile hairballing."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Jerk Gene

Bald Man Overcomb

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"