Techie Laugh Seeker Pillows

"Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back at an on-line shopping center."

"If you're worried about I.D. theft, 'Moo' is too obvious a password."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"What did Jesus order?"

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Projectile hairballing."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Drunk Barber

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Hey! Get back here!"

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Jerk Gene

Bald Man Overcomb

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'