Chatroom Connoisseur Gifts

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

If we need some smutty invectives, we just have to study the messages in our daughter's favourite chatroom!

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Men gossiping

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."