Chitchat Connoisseur Gifts

Conversation at a country house

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Men gossiping

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Woman on the phone.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

Trappist talk show.

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'