Chat-up Line Collector Pillows

How about a date tonight? No way...I am getting married today! Well, how about tomorrow then?

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

"My wife doesn't understand you."

'Excuse me, Miss, but I believe that we've met previously.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Try his land line.'

'Do you come here often?'

OMG UR HOT

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'You had me at hell.'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

Bell invents the telephone.

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

'Hiya, spaceman.'

Listenin' in

You insist on having the last word don't you?

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

"Do you have any weird sex kinks?"

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

'Why Mr.Jones.. Is that you playing FTSE with me under the table? '

'Hi, there -- What's your sign?'