Chat Shows Pillows

'So! You're still watching those talk shows after I told you to stop!'

Zombie standup

Moses on the web

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Succession 2

Pet Entertainers

Woman on the phone.

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Trappist talk show.

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"