Chart Geek Gifts

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

A guide to seasons in the North East

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

A Fairytale Update

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Business is off the chart.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

Soaring Profits

"It's his ego growth chart."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Gloat