Chart Guru Gifts

'The good news is, profits are up 74%, the bad news is, we don't know why.'

Market Analyst with Graphs Labelled: 'Optimism, Pessimism, and Reality.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

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