Chart Curator Gifts

"Regarding my art collection, I know what I like."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"I think he was a celebrity."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Painting taking root...

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'I could do that.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Children's Art Show.