Charting Gifts

This is my son, Nigel. He'll be taking credit for all of your work.

'I can explain my excessive and unexplainable deductions. When I made out the return, I was at the lowest point in my biorhythm chart.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

ACME Balloon Company.

"It's his ego growth chart."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

A guide to seasons in the North East

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'And right here they merged...'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Pie Charts, Inc.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

"Oh, I can't complain"

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '