Charm School Humorist Gifts

'Cool!'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'