Chardonnay Lover Gifts

"Bring me a bottle of chardonnay and one long straw."

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Redhead

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

'Guess how many I ATE.'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Easter Candy Island.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

With Compliments

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

Join me in a glass of champagne?

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

'See, Dad. I told you these gummy worms would work.'

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

Martini Lovers

Champagne