Cheeky Chardonnay Lover Gifts

'You may indeed be 'under the weather', but let's just see if the 34 pints of lager two bottles of scotch and 6 Christmas dinners had anything to do with it.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are California Chardonnays, but a lot, just the same.'

Sticking out tongue

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

Champagne Tasting.

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

Clean Fill Wanted

"You awake?"

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'

'There's always one.'

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"