Chardonnay Chaser Gifts

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Oh, I can't complain"

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Letter writing lady.

Dragon Graph

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

Running Latte

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Line on graph goes right through floor.

"You additional graphics are totally unnecessary, Phelps."