Chaotic Diner T-Shirts

Monster eating furniture,

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'The customer is always right...'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"The usual."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'You made me jump,'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

Road Kill Cafe.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Dinner looks delicious."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."