Dining Chaos Enthusiast T-Shirts

'You're right baby, throwing food is fun.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Man's cooking explodes.

Cafe Burns.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'You made me jump.'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

It's all gravy.

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

Cooking

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Disaster in the kitchen.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

Cook au vin

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.