Channel Swimmer Gifts

'Make sure you get unleaded...'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Live Stream

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

How I met your mother

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Welcome to digital - you now have more of what you didn't want than you ever thought possible!'

Remote control wars.

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

Mind control

A mother wearing an inflatable duck leads her three children wearing inflatable ducks into the water

Man struggling to carry a giant tv remote control with hundreds of channels.

I don't care if you hate that word – I'm hangry.

Transformation of Man into Monster.

"How many new sitcoms will it make before they find a decent one?" "About twenty something"