Changing Banks Gifts

'I switched banks. The new one has nicer hold music.'

TELLER, 'I want to transfer my account to this bank -- you wouldn't believe how uptight my LAST bank was!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

The Shrinking Dollar.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"I don't like the look of this."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Offshore tax havens.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

Paul Wolfowitz.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

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