Central Banking Buff Gifts

Janet Yellen

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Mario Draghi

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Payback Time

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Offshore tax havens.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

Paul Wolfowitz.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'