Alternative Banking Enthusiast Gifts

"Keeping all your money in a cigar box is not wise. You should keep it in a coffee can hidden behind the TV, like me!"

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

Paul Wolfowitz.

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

I have a dream.

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'When I grow up I want to be a bank.'

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'This is your third withdrawal this week... how about a little deposit once in a while?'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'

"The bank accepted bones in the eighties. We don't accept bones anymore."

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

"You want to go outside again? I wish dogs had direct deposit."

'Why have you taken 50% of my investment?'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

A simple clue that your bank has been sold: "Would you like that in dollars or yen?"

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

"The Queen beat you to it!!"

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."

Janet Yellen