Chancellor Gifts

A typical gesture of Merkel.

Mismanagement at the Bank of England

'Well yes, the Lab's research output was down last year, but the whole year was pretty much wasted doing paperwork for the Science Review...'

Will you stop doing that?

Angela Merkel.

Squeezing a tight budget...

Larry, Downing Street cat: 'I'm in next door's garden. I heard the chancellor say it was his job to clear up the mess.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Angela Merkel.

Angela Merkel

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

Rishi Sunak.

Angela Merkel's Departure

Alexander Schallenberg

"I didn't want a 'yes-man' as Chancellor. I wanted a 'yes sir I'll do anything you want please, please just tell me what to do' man."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Online form - Submit.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'