Chancellor Of The Exchequer Gifts

"Sayyyyy... Do you know anything about budgets?"

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'

Denis Healey

Balancing Act.

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'

Sweep the board.

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

Not much money, glory, or praise

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

'Bring me some more power.'

Fries and kids

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

Executive with desk-boxes 'get rich' and 'get even'.

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Self-Checkout.

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"For this year's financial picture, we've done away with graphs."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'