Government Budget Guru Gifts

"Words from the wise, Grandson, live to be 100, but never get sick, old or retire!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Investing your savings

Budget

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

Blowing dust off an order book.

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

Where tax money goes...

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

Small Businesses Go Under.

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

"His department suffered the death of a thousand cuts."

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

'I believe the use of elastic- bands is down to the new government defence cut-backs!'

Budget Munchies

Poor & Elderly Carry The Load Of The Iraq War.

'This was a nice quiet corner before those austerity measures kicked in.'

'We'd like to have a look at the decimation of public services in the area.'

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

7.9% Fewer Drones