University President Gifts

"I'm afraid you lack the power to exile a professor to a branch campus."

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"What was I thinking?!"

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'What I have to do first?!'

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

John F. Kennedy

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'We're counting on inflation.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"Every year, it's the same darned thing! I take a two-week vacation, and while I'm gone, the company just falls apart!"

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

Baseball players and their qualifications.

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."