University Administrators Gifts

"It is my wish that this be the most educated country in the world, and toward that end I hereby ordain that each and everyone of my people be given a diploma."

"Of course we have disinvited Chelsea Manning to be a fellow. Since the surgery, she's no long a fellow, is she?"

"Of course we have disinvited Chelsea Manning to be a fellow. Since the surgery, she's no longer a fellow, is she?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Online form - Submit.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

I will study my speling words...

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."