College Administrator Gifts

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."

I heard it's a diploma mill.

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"We've canceled so many technical programs. . . local business and industry is begging for trained people!"

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

'You have failed on all counts...'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

"No, accepting students who are unqualified is not what we mean by diversity."

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

"Even though it's an honorary degree, we have to bill you for 4 years of tuition."

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

Welcome Students

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'

The Runaway President

'It's okay - we're in a safe space.'

Civilian Oversight

Small and Decrepit

Sex Contract

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years