University Administrators Pillows

"It is my wish that this be the most educated country in the world, and toward that end I hereby ordain that each and everyone of my people be given a diploma."

"Implications of Reaganism."

"Of course we have disinvited Chelsea Manning to be a fellow. Since the surgery, she's no long a fellow, is she?"

"Of course we have disinvited Chelsea Manning to be a fellow. Since the surgery, she's no longer a fellow, is she?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Online form - Submit.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

I will study my speling words...

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."