Chakra And Hockey Humorist Gifts

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Show off."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

Magician Playing Golf.