Chainsaw Humorist Gifts

"And why exactly did you quit your job as a chainsaw salesman, Mr. Shloompf?"

A DIY disaster.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. VIII

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

"Race you to the spleen!"

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

Ice Sculpting Class.

Chainsaw and Chair

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

This could be interesting...

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'

Tree Game Shows... Don't Get Stumped

"Of course he's old enough to cut the cake."

Deforestation

"Let me guess: Another splinter?"

A tree's revenge.

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

"We figure out real quick who's gonna make it as a tree surgeon."

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"I'll bet those danged tree-huggers taught them how to do this!"

'Why can't you just open gifts like everyone else?!'

OK... make that three dirtbikes... one very large doghouse... four electric guitars...the biggest chainsaw I've ever seen... aaannnd... are you ready for this?

'There's no inflammation of the wood pole. . . but he does appear to suffer from hardening of the chain saw.'

Deforestation.