Chainsaw Juggler Gifts

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Before I can stop and smell the roses, I need time to stop and plant the @#$% roses.

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"More?"

A child and his dog

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Surgeon

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

Chainsaw and Chair

Ice Sculpting Class.

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'

You B*****D

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"