Tool Time Humorist Gifts

A DIY disaster.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Award Winning Gardener

Screen Time vs Book Time

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Electric Blanket.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

Chef copy robot

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. VIII

DIY horror.

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'It's a snow mobile.'

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."