Cereal Skeptic Gifts

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

German Expressionist Breakfast

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Please don't kill me."

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Power breakfast.

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

Mom bought the wrong flakes

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

"I go soggy in the bath."

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!