Centrist Ponderer Gifts

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"What was I thinking?!"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Needs to get a life"

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."