Centrist Ponderer Gifts

Ain't Nothing in the Middle of the Road but a Faded Strip of Paint

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"What was I thinking?!"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

"Needs to get a life"

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."