Political Correctness Ponderer Gifts

"I wouldn't call you crazy. But only because nobody uses that word anymore."

I'd better agree with this guy, or they'll think I'm a racist...

'I resent being called a 'dwarf'... I prefer the term 'little planet'!'

'We're no longer called 'Children', we're called 'Age Disadvantaged'!'

"Today we celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month, unless you object to the term 'Hispanic'....in which case we can call it Latino Heritage Month, though some people find both phrases inaccurate...so some of us are now calling it Spanish-speaking person month,

Egg and Spoon Race.

"Where do you want to meet tonight, my safe space or your safe space?"

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

"You can't call me a mongrel anymore- it's not PC. These days I'm a hybrid."

"Nowadays sex in the workplace is politically incorrect. I sure miss being politically incorrect!"

"I'm sorry, but we only give out to politically correct costumes!"

"Well, I was born homework-impaired."

"A funny (non offensive) thing happened to me on the way over here..."

'I got GI Joe Peace for my birthday.'

"Do I really have to add 'Just kidding' after everything I say?"

'Sloth? We prefer Creature of Persistent Inactivity.'

'Don't call us 'dirty bums' sir. We prefer 'fragrant vagrants'.'

"We can no longer teach about Teddy Roosevelt ... he was 'bully' on everything."

'I hate it when you call me 'you people.''

"You can't just go around calling a goose 'silly' nowadays."

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"I'm after the history section."

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."