Centrist Seeker Gifts

You can't come out...

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Fight or Flight

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Any questions?"

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Unguided imagery

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Astral Projection

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Needs to get a life"

Zenemies.

Tiny Visions

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!