Central Heating Gifts

'BRRRR. Why is it taking so long to get warm?'

'Are you kidding me!? You're from Scandinavia! You love coldness!'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

Electric Blanket.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'I know that it's the Fourth of July, but I still don't think an air conditioner is supposed to do this.'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

An Eskimo sits in a melting igloo, as a central heating van drives away.

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

'No, I'm sorry, the HVAC engineer isn't here ... No, I'm not sure when he'll be back? Would you like to be put on hold?'

Why don't you look at ME that way?

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

'Isn't it great?!'

Organic Soldering.

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

Apartments for rent. Central Air!

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

'Do you notice when it's forty below, people quit kicking the oil companies?'

"What? No Vanilla?"

'Hey! Who turned up the thermostat!?!'

'Can I come in for a bit? It's flipping freezing out here!'

'Just because I understand how to maintain the Heating and Cooling systems in the world's biggest buildings doesn't mean I understand the tax code.'

Higher Mammals open Holiday Cards.

A pet dragon stokes the fire in a man's heater.

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my HVAC equipment these days.'

Beginning fires for the winter - Something wrong with the chimney.

'Have you considered having central heating installed?'

"Central air? I am so jealous!"

'I like this guy. He's not the best worker but here, but one of the few who doesn't complain about the office temperature!'

'OBSOLETE: Any really expensive Heating & Air Conditioning system you bought last year.'