Celestial Have-a-go Gifts

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

"Good game."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Shoe repair

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

New Years Reolutions

'I miss the evildoers.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

Benedict XVI Resigns.

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

'-and I'll tell you something else-it beats playing the harp!'

'Your halo didn't slip. You've got ring around the collar.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

Halo Repair

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

'I still feel empty.'

Uh-Oh...

"Still fat."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

Inventive Uses of Halo

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."