Celebrity Tourists Pillows

Man selling 'Maps to Stars for $5.00' next to lady selling 'Maps to People with 15 Minutes of Fame for 50 Cents'.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The americanisation of vulture.

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Little Red Riding Carpet

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Harriet Walter

Leo McKern

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Hollywood or bust!

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'