Caution Comedian Gifts

"I'm not taking any chances. . ."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

Athlete

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Dual Airbags

Spawn of Satan on board.

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

"He said he was working on something big. Now e;ll never know what it was."

Computer cables as fire ladder.

'Fred, you're not getting taller, just fatter.'

Falling Rock Zone

'Before I serve any food, please sign this waiver of legal liability for making you obese.'

'I do love you, but anything you say, ever, will be remembered and may be used in evidence against you.'

'I told you to wear your hard hat.'

"What are you lookin' at? Never seen a routine fire drill before?"

'I took a short cut.'

"Your prognosis? That depends on your health insurance."

'Okay, at the T in the road, go straight.'

'The hook was too dangerous.'

"The finale should be good"

'Say... this looks like a good place!'

No, I don't see any construction, either. Hard hat area.

'Silly me - I didn't stand back!'

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''